On the jawn that started it all...

the year was 2014. i had been reading gq and maybe one or two other online menswear sites, but i had yet to buy a real "high end" piece. to this point, i mostly used my self-education to inform my style and grooming, still doing most of my shopping at my local mall. that would all start to change in the summer of 2013, when i read about this collaboration between kanye west and this french denim label i had never heard of a.p.c. a lot of the coverage was around a $150 "oversized" white t-shirt THEY WERE SELLING, AND ALSO FEATURED A TERTIARY COLLABORATION WITH ONE OF THE HOTTEST STREETWEAR BRANDS AT THE TIME #BEEN #TRILL. (THIS COLLECTIVE WOULD EVENTUALLY INTRODUCE THE LIKES OF VIRGIL ABLOH, HERON PRESTON, AND MATTHEW WILLIAMS TO THE MASSES BUT THAT'S A STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME). THIS IS ALL ABOUT THE JEANS. THEY RELEASED A COUPLE OF REWORKED VERSIONS OF A.P.C.'S ICONIC RAW SELVEDGE DENIM. THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME I HAD HEARD OF A.P.C., OR EVEN RAW DENIM, BUT KANYE WAS A BIG IDOL OF MINE AT THE TIME, SO THEY IMMEDIATELY ENDED UP ON THE TOP OF MY WISHLIST. I NEVER ENDED UP BUYING THE KANYE VERSION, AS THE FIT (AND PRICE) WASN'T FOR ME, BUT I DID A BUNCH OF RESEARCH INTO A.P.C. AND RAW DENIM IN GENERAL, AND AT THE START OF 2014 I BOUGH MY FIRST PAIR OF RAW SELVEDGE DENIM FROM A.P.C. ​​ 

above are the kanye versions for reference on what got this all started, but i settled on the petit standard, two sizes below my normal size, as the raw denim forums suggested. raw denim is denim that has never been washed, and is therefore incredibly stiff and almost black in color, that stretch out over time. most jeans, like the washed pair above, are treated to some sort of wash process, whether the old school 80's acid wash or one of the newfangled techniques involving lasers, but raw denim comes just as the denim came off the loom. the idea is that you are to wear the jeans for months at a time, every day, without ever washing them, and they would eventually wear in and shed dye in intricate patterns unique to the wearer. (because they were never washed, the dye is kind of loosely attached and therefore "frocks" off in different places at different rates). The ending result is a pair of jeans with a wide range of colors, something most of the modern wash processes try to imitate to some extent. the intrigue of doing it yourself, however, is that with a good pair of broken in raw jeans, all of the fade lines actually line up with where the jeans bend and fold, resulting in a much more natural look.

so there i was, it was 2014 and i was a junior in high school and i bought some skinny ass, stiff ass $185 jeans and all my friends thought i was fucking insane. i stood by my decision, however, and proceeded to wear the jeans nearly every day, including over the hot summer months. i just remember taking my jeans off at the end of each day and inspecting the way they were slowly developing over time. it was a slow process, but the more time passed, the more satisfied i was with the "fades" i was developing. I inspected all of the key areas i had read about in the forums; the whiskers, or the area just below the front pockets; the honeycombs, or the locations at the backs of the knees; the stacks, at the bottom of the legs above the hems; and finally, how the things i kept in my pockets - my iphone 5s in the back left pocket, my wallet in the back right - altered the jeans over time.

Finally, exactly 8 months and 13 days after i first put them on, i baptized my jeans with their first wash. there are many ways people will say you should wash raw denim, and a.p.c. even has a list of four denim washing "recipes". easily the most ridiculous sounding of these recipes is the "seawater recipe", where one is to let the jeans get dirty for as long as possible, and then go swimming in the ocean in the jeans, following up by rubbing them with dry sand, and then repeating multiple times. i briefly considered doing this, as i went to the ocean for the first time (in france!) the summer after i started wearing them. however, the logistics didn't quite work out and i didn't think the jeans were quite ready for their first wash. i opted for the "semi-extremist recipe", which called for soaking the jeans for about an hour with a little bit of woolite black added. by this point, just a little over 8 months after first donning a pair of $185 jeans, i may not have known it yet but i was firmly on a course i still haven't taken a detour from.

those jeans made me appreciate clothing in a way i never had before. in just over 8 months i had probably worn them more times than i had worn any other pair of pants in my life. and i got to see the effect of that. it made me think about how clothing ages, a thought that formed the basis of my senior thesis collection. it made me re-think how i wear clothes, instilling in me an appreciation of well-made clothing and quality textiles. almost 6 years after i first put on those jeans, not only are these still things i feel strongly about, but i still have the jeans. i still wear them even, though not nearly as often.

the picture at the top of this post shows a bit of what they look like now. they have been to hell and back. both knees are completely blown out. the hems failed about a year ago at the crease where i had long had them cuffed. all four corners at the crotch have blown out and been repaired. one of the belt loops has been cut off because i stupidly attached a padlock to it, not realizing i didn't know the combination. they tell the story of everything i have done in them over the course of these almost 6 years, and that to me is the most poetic thing.

that picture at the top of this post is also the perfect way to illustrate this story. the original jeans - my first jawn - are shown next to another pair of nearly identical jeans - my last jawn. there are just a few differences between them, but they are the same size and fit. the only differences come in the form of a zipper fly on the new pair (which i am not too thrilled about but it is what it is), and a leather patch added to the back of the new ones because they are a collab with the french creative collective jjjjound. these small differences in detail pale in comparison, however, to how different they look to the naked eye. i can hardly believe the jeans on the left once looked exactly like the ones on the right. i just look forward to making the new ones look like the old ones. it'll sure be a fun time.